Finally, there's justice in the world.
The St. Petersburg Times -- a six-time Pulitzer Prize-winner and considered among the nation's best newspapers, selected Hawaii -- yes, Hawaii -- in its "Top Five Biggest Surprises" in 2008.
Tom Jones -- a great sportswriter and overall pundit -- for the
Times offered up a little "gridiron perspective" in his page-long college football coverage this weekend.
But even while attempting to give credit where it's due by tipping his cap to Hawaii, he blew it when he called the Warriors by their old moniker.
"
The Rainbows," wrote Jones,
"were primed to sink after losing QB Colt Brennan, but after a 56-10 loss to Florida to start, they went 7-5 the rest of the way and nearly knocked off Big East Champ Cincinnati."
I'm still in therapy over the bewildering Cincinnati loss, but hearing an award-winning sportswriter still mislabel the Warriors as an international icon now mostly reserved these days for male hairdressers and female comedians -- now that just chafes me under my blue jeans in a place where I can't scratch.
Now, not to say that I'm opposed to having Hawaii recognized, as they should be, for their 2008 accomplishments, even if they were the fifth and final selection of the paper's "five biggest surprises." They came in just behind Ole Miss (8-4), Boston College (ACC title game), North Carolina (8-4) and Florida State (8-4), which is pretty good company for a team that some critics predicted might not win more than a few games.
I mean, that's better than winding up in the "five biggest disappointments," which Jones, in this order, nailed Michigan (3-9), Clemson (7-5), Illinois (5-7), Tennessee (5-7), and Arizona State (5-7).
But who really did a better job than Greg McMackin, if you take an independent look at the coaches among the five biggest surprises?
Ole Miss didn't even win an SEC game in 2007, which made the Rebels' accomplishments about as unique as a snowflake in hell. Boston College lost plenty of starters, and, like Hawaii, its quarterback. In North Carolina, Butch Davis went 8-4, and beat Boston College, Georgia Tech and Miami, while Florida State's Bobby Bowden had big wins over Miami, Virginia Tech and Maryland.
Coach Mack, on the other hand, had to take a brand new bunch of kids, teach new quarterbacks a complex offensive system, and then fly them halfway around the world -- more than 40,000 miles -- to win seven games and earn a bowl berth against --
I can't wait for this one -- Notre Dame.
Speaking of Notre Dame, in the same article in the
Times, writer Jones blasts Charlie Weis as his number-one selection for the "Five Worst Coaching Jobs."
Hawaii fans, enjoy this zinger:
"We keep hearing how Notre Dame is at the top of all recruiting classes year after year, so how come the Irish went 6-6? Call us suckers for thinking Charlie Weis could coach his way out of this, but hey, he had the talent."
Tom, you can make that 6-7 in a few weeks. Notre Dame wants you to believe that they are football's Caciocavallo Podolico, the most
expensive and rarest of cheese in the world. But this year's version comes in a spray can, and smells worse than the French.
In case you're wondering, rounding out the "Worst Five" were Mark Richt at Georgia, Jim Leavitt at South Florida (2-5 in the Big East), Auburn's Tommy Tubberville (5-7) and Michigan's highly touted newbie Rich Rodriguez.
Jones was particularly harsh on Rodriguez, stating that "Michigan should be a bowl-eligible team every year if even a high-school coach were calling the shots." Ouch.
So all in all, Coach Mack and the, ahem, WARRIORS, find themselves in great company as they prepare for the not-so-Fighting Irish. Keep in mind, as you're enjoying watching the Hawaii defense drag Notre Dame's sophomore quarterback Jimmy Clausen up and down the field, that the Warriors' entire football budget is less than Charlie Weis's cellphone bill.
Notre Dame has made four trips to Hawai'i in the football program's history.The Irish lost to SMU in the 1984 Aloha Bowl, 27-20, and played at Hawai'iin the regular season finales in 1991 and 1997. Notre Dame barely escaped both previousmeetings with the Warriors, 48-42 in 1991 and 23-22 in 1997.Personally, I think this is come-uppance for the Irish, and a dream matchup for Hawaii fans: Coach Mack and his defense versus self-proclaimed offensive genius Chuck (and Duck) Weis. "It will be interesting," guffawed Weis, when he first took the job with Notre Dame after leaving the Super Bowl-winning Patriots, "to see how college kids can handle our spread offense."
Well, if the Irish hadn't guaranteed so much of Weis's contract, his college coaching career would be shorter than Mini-Me bending over to pick up Dr. Evil's monocle.
This year's Hawaii Bowl is college football's version of "The Simple Life." Remember that gem? Paris Hilton trying to milk a bull? That was the same episode where she asked if Wal-Mart "was a place where you buy walls?"
Likewise, having stuffy Notre Dame, with its snotty fans and its equally arrogant coach come play in the Warriors' backyard -- and cozy but run-down Aloha Stadium -- has all of college football reveling with glee. It's a bit like asking a pinstriped Tommy Hilfiger to fly 10,000 miles to come sweat his fat ass off at a banana-leaf pig roast, Hawaii style.
And, to my knowledge, on Christmas Eve, based on number of wins versus dollars earned, there will be no bigger pigs in Hawaii than Weis. Next year, I say Kansas and Notre Dame play in a yet-to-be named Japan Bowl, and at half-time, Jayhawks' head coach Mark Mangino and Weis could sumo wrestle. For real.
While Notre Dame-Hawaii might, indeed, be David versus Goliath, if you recall that historic battle of Biblical proportions, David won. As long as Hawaii shoots straight, just like David, they will only need one stone.
And if indeed, win they do, I wonder if UH will "super-size" Coach Mack's contract to match Weis?
That only seems fair to me.
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Storyteller and St. Petersburg resident J. David Miller is the author of a dozen books, including the best-selling Hawaii Warrior Football: A Story of Faith, Hope and Redemption. He is currently working on collaborations with South Carolina head baseball coach Ray Tanner (www.mycarolinabaseball.com), and third-generation NHL Hall of Famer Craig Patrick.
