St. Pete Times: Hawaii 'Biggest Surprise'

Finally, there's justice in the world.

The St. Petersburg Times --a six-time Pulitzer Prize-winner and considered among the nation's bestnewspapers, selected Hawaii -- yes, Hawaii -- in its "Top Five BiggestSurprises" in 2008.

Tom Jones -- a great sportswriter and overall pundit -- for the Times offered up a little "gridiron perspective" in his page-long college football coverage this weekend.

Buteven while attempting to give credit where it's due by tipping his capto Hawaii, he blew it when he called the Warriors by their old moniker.

"The Rainbows," wrote Jones, "wereprimed to sink after losing QB Colt Brennan,  but after a 56-10 loss toFlorida to start, they went 7-5 the rest of the way and nearly knockedoff Big East Champ Cincinnati."

I'm still in therapyover the bewildering Cincinnati loss, but hearing an award-winningsportswriter still mislabel the Warriors as an international icon nowmostly reserved these days for male hairdressers and female comedians-- now that just chafes me under my blue jeans in a place where I can'tscratch.

Now, not to say that I'm opposed to having Hawaiirecognized, as they should be, for their 2008 accomplishments, even ifthey were the fifth and final selection of the paper's "five biggestsurprises." They came in just behind Ole Miss (8-4), Boston College(ACC title game), North Carolina (8-4) and Florida State (8-4), whichis pretty good company for a team that some critics predicted might notwin more than a few games.

I mean, that's better than winding upin the "five biggest disappointments," which Jones, in this order,nailed Michigan (3-9), Clemson (7-5), Illinois (5-7), Tennessee (5-7),and Arizona State (5-7).

But who really did a better job thanGreg McMackin, if you take an independent look at the coaches among thefive biggest surprises?

Ole Miss didn't even win an SEC gamein 2007, which made the Rebels' accomplishments about as unique as asnowflake in hell. Boston College lost plenty of starters, and, likeHawaii, its quarterback. In North Carolina, Butch Davis went 8-4, andbeat Boston College, Georgia Tech and Miami, while Florida State'sBobby Bowden had big wins over Miami, Virginia Tech and Maryland.

CoachMack, on the other hand, had to take a brand new bunch of kids, teachnew quarterbacks a complex offensive system, and then fly them halfwayaround the world -- more than 40,000 miles -- to win seven games andearn a bowl berth against -- I can't wait for this one -- Notre Dame.

Speaking of Notre Dame, in the same article in the Times, writer Jones blasts Charlie Weis as his number-one selection for the "Five Worst Coaching Jobs."

Hawaii fans, enjoy this zinger:

"Wekeep hearing how Notre Dame is at the top of all recruiting classesyear after year, so how come the Irish went 6-6? Call us suckers forthinking Charlie Weis could coach his way out of this, but hey, he hadthe talent."

Tom, you can make that 6-7 in a few weeks.Notre Dame wants you to believe that they are football's CaciocavalloPodolico, the most expensive and rarest of cheese in the world. But this year's version comes in a spray can, and smells worse than the French.

Incase you're wondering, rounding out the "Worst Five" were Mark Richt atGeorgia, Jim Leavitt at South Florida (2-5 in the Big East), Auburn'sTommy Tubberville (5-7) and Michigan's highly touted newbie RichRodriguez.

Jones was particularly harsh on Rodriguez, statingthat "Michigan should be a bowl-eligible team every year if even ahigh-school coach were calling the shots." Ouch.

So all in all,Coach Mack and the, ahem, WARRIORS, find themselves in great company asthey prepare for the not-so-Fighting Irish. Keep in mind, as you'reenjoying watching the Hawaii defense drag Notre Dame's sophomorequarterback Jimmy Clausen up and down the field, that the Warriors'entire football budget is less than Charlie Weis's cellphone bill.

NotreDame has made four trips to Hawai'i in the football program'shistory.The Irish lost to SMU in the 1984 Aloha Bowl, 27-20, and playedat Hawai'iin the regular season finales in 1991 and 1997. Notre Damebarely escaped both previousmeetings with the Warriors, 48-42 in 1991and 23-22 in 1997.

Personally, I think this iscome-uppance for the Irish, and a dream matchup for Hawaii fans: CoachMack and his defense versus self-proclaimed offensive genius Chuck (andDuck) Weis. "It will be interesting," guffawed Weis, when he first tookthe job with Notre Dame after leaving the Super Bowl-winning Patriots,"to see how college kids can handle our spread offense."

Well,if the Irish hadn't guaranteed so much of Weis's contract, his collegecoaching career would be shorter than Mini-Me bending over to pick upDr. Evil's monocle.

This year's Hawaii Bowl is collegefootball's version of "The Simple Life." Remember that gem? ParisHilton trying to milk a bull? That was the same episode where she askedif Wal-Mart "was a place where you buy walls?"

Likewise, havingstuffy Notre Dame, with its snotty fans and its equally arrogant coachcome play in the Warriors' backyard -- and cozy but run-down AlohaStadium -- has all of college football reveling with glee. It's a bitlike asking a pinstriped Tommy Hilfiger to fly 10,000 miles to comesweat his fat ass off at a banana-leaf pig roast, Hawaii style.

And,to my knowledge, on Christmas Eve, based on number of wins versusdollars earned, there will be no bigger pigs in Hawaii than Weis. Nextyear, I say Kansas and Notre Dame play in a yet-to-be named Japan Bowl,and at half-time, Jayhawks' head coach Mark Mangino and Weis could sumowrestle. For real.

While Notre Dame-Hawaii might, indeed, beDavid versus Goliath, if you recall that historic battle of Biblicalproportions, David won. As long as Hawaii shoots straight, just likeDavid, they will only need one stone. 

And if indeed, win they do, I wonder if UH will "super-size" Coach Mack's contract to match Weis?

That only seems fair to me.



Storytellerand St. Petersburg resident J. David Miller is the author of a dozenbooks, including the best-selling Hawaii Warrior Football: A Story ofFaith, Hope and Redemption. He is currently working on collaborationswith South Carolina head baseball coach Ray Tanner(www.mycarolinabaseball.com), and third-generation NHL Hall of FamerCraig Patrick.